HLB Tri Team Shakes "Mini" Monkey Off its Back in First International Distance Triathlon

Irwindale, California

Earlier in the year, HLB Triathlon Team member Mark Hardiman was upset. And he wasn't going to take it anymore. "I'm sick of everyone saying how cute it is that I do mini triathlons," he complained, raising a sentiment shared by the rest of the Team. Arnold Pamplona clarified that "triathlons consisting of a half-mile swim, 12-mile bike and 3-mile run are called a sprint distance triathlons, and they are very challenging!" But he added, shamefully, "it never impresses the women."

Sensing that her teammates were not satisfied with their admirable performances in Long Beach and Catalina Triathlons in 2004, and the UCSB Spring Hazard Triathlon in 2005--all sprint distance affairs--Team captian Stacie Neroni made a decision. "We are going to do our first international distance triathlon on April 30," she announced during a recent team meeting. The challenge invigorated the team, but it was a daunting one.

International distance triathlons are roughly double the distance of sprint triathlons. "Now I can tell women that we do the same distances as they do in the Olympics--no more minis for me!," exclaimed Pamplona, who revealed his shallow motivation for participating in the Tri Team. Neroni picked a particularly difficult race for the Team. The Triathlon of the Champions in Irwindale, California required participants to complete a .9-mile swim AFTER a challenging 18-mile bike.

There is a reason a triathlon organizers traditionally set up the swim portion first. Over exertion on a run or a bike can cause near-fatal cramps and respiratory-exhaustion complications in the water. Pamplona, the first to enter the swim after a blistering bike ride in today's race, succumbed to cramps in both of his quadriceps muscles. The injuries almost forced him to abandon the race after the first of two laps in the Santa Fe Dam reservoir. Similarly, Hardiman suffered cramps in his calves. For Neroni, the exhaustion of swimming after the bike leg caused delirium: instead of doing two laps of the reservoir, as directed, she completed three. Amazingly, her swim split for three laps was only three minutes slower than Hardiman's two-lap split, demonstrating her complete dominance in the water. "Did I mention the cramp was in both of my calves?" offered a sheepish Hardiman in his own defense.

Hardiman regained his form for the punishing 6.2-mile trail run that followed the swim. He caught up to Pamplona and taunted his younger team mate. Pamplona was looking for redemption after losing to Hardiman by one minute in the Jimmy Stewart Relay Marathon just two weeks prior. Somehow Pamplona was able to dig deep and shake the elder Hardiman, managing to eek out a narrow 24-minute victory over his nemesis. "I really wanted to crush him today, as payback. I guess it will have to wait until the next race," said an exhausted Pamplona at the finish line.

The HLB Triathlon team finished strongly in their respective age categories. Neroni finsihed 3rd in the 35-39 bracket, Pamplona finished 5th in the 20-29 group, and Hardiman managed 8th in the very competitive 40-44 division.

Results: 18-mile bike, .9-mile swim (except for Neroni, who did 1.35 miles), 6.2-mile run

Pamplona: Bike: 53:07, Swim: 36:03, Run: 54:12, Total: 2:23:21
Hardiman: Bike: 59:58; Swim: 47:00, Run: 1:00:57, Total: 2:47:54
Neroni: Bike: 1:02:00, Swim: 50:09, Run: 1:09:58, Total: 3:02:06


HLB Tri hams it up before the race



Neroni (center) at the bike start



Pamplona had a strong bike leg




Neroni demonstrates proper aero position on the bike



Neroni preparing for an epic swim



Hardiman taunts Pamplona



Co-workers. Training partners. Rivals.



The traditional post-race breakfast



The real reason they tri: Guilt free eating

High Drama Unfolds at Jimmy Stewart Relay Marathon

Hardiman's Fastest Leg Too Little, Too Late as HLB's Team II Upset's Team I

Los Angeles, California
Hooper's Troopers II Team Captain Stacie Neroni surveilled her rag-tag team prior to the start of this year's St. John's Health Center Jimmy Stewart Relay Marathon, and she didn't like what she saw. "From top to bottom, Hooper's Troopers I is superior," lamented Neroni, as she laced up her shoes for what promised to be a very long day.

On paper, she was right. The opening leg pitted Neroni against Hope "The Natural" Levy-Biehl, whose innate athleticism has allowed her to get into competition shape in just two months of training after a long lay-off to have 2 children. The second leg offered no more promise for Team II, which offered up sacrificial lamb Jordan Keville against Hope's father, Mark "The Ringer" Levy, the favorite to bring home the fastest leg of the day. Neroni had little to no confidence in her third runner, Franklin Paniagua, as he faced Team I's Khalil "Blast" Mack, who recently began training with the HLB Triathlon Team. "My fourth leg worries me the most, because Carlos Villafuerte is unproven," said Neroni of her rookie who was slated to face marathon runner Irene "The Dream" Paniagua. Finally, since no one else wanted to participate, Neroni had to assign Team II's anchor leg to asthmatic Arnold Pamplona, who would face nemesis and star distance runner Mark "Where Did He Go?" Hardiman, who honed his speed this year ducking irate clients.

"They have nicknames, we don't--that says it all," said a resigned Keville as he waited for his team captain Neroni to finish the first leg. But surprisingly, Neroni finished her portion of the race a full minute in front of The Natural Levy-Biehl. "When I saw her struggling, I decided right then and there to punish her," remarked a content Neroni after she handed off the baton to Keville, who was expected to put up only token resistance against The Ringer. But Keville also surpassed expectations, finishing in exactly the same time as the Mark Levy, giving Paniagua a one-minute lead when he started his leg against Blast. "Although he spent the off-season eating powdered donuts, I have confidence in Frankie," said Pamplona, who witnessed Paniagua finish the 2003 Los Angeles Marathon without doing a single training run. Pamplona was right to believe in Paniagua, who ceded only one minute to Blast, giving fourth-leg Villafuerte some room to work with.

With the rookie Villafuerte starting the course at the same time as The Dream, no one knew what to expect. But Villafuerte put in the run of his life, finishing the fourth leg an astonishing 6 minutes ahead of Irene Paniagua, who excels in marathons, but struggles in middle distances. "No one was more surprised than I was," said Villafuerte, whose large head gives him a distinct aerodynamic disadvantage (his enlarged cerebrum earned him the nickname "The Head" amongst his college friends--true story!).

With a six-minute cushion, asthmatic Pamplona cruised into the finish line five minutes ahead of Team I's anchor Hardiman. Although Hardiman ran the day's fastest leg at 44 minutes, he caught the ire of his teammates. "I can't believe that a seasoned runner can't make up a 6-minute gap against a weakling with a debilitating respiratory illness," complained a disappointed Team I captain Levy-Biehl. Sulking, Hardiman blamed Team I's poor performance on the absence of Sharon Lee, who had been the team's Manager in prior years. "Sharon whipped us into shape and brought us Capri Sun" said Hardiman, in tribute to Lee. "Things are just not the same without her."

Neroni and Levy-Biehl rest after a competitive first leg



The Paniaguas raced on different teams this year


A touching moment as Levy-Biehl hands the baton to her father, Mark "The Ringer" Levy


Hooper's Troopers II's Keville, Pamplona and Villafuerte


Mack v. Paniagua III lived up to its billing


Pamplona and Villafuerte demonstrate a text-book baton handoff


Pamplona cruises into a Hooper's Troopers II victory


Hardman's record setting leg would be for naught


Team I's Mack spends time with his adoring fans


Members of the HLB Running Team sport their team shirts, designed by Villafuerte. This picture begs the question, "Why do older men insist on tucking their T-Shirts into their shorts?"


The HLB Running Team: a Family Affair

HLB Tri Faces Adversity in Santa Barbara Race

Hardiman Succumbs to Equipment Failure, Neroni Overcomes a Test of Will, Levy-Biehl Experiences Baptism in Fire

Santa Barbara, California

HLB Triathlon Team members Arnold Pamplona, Mark Hardiman, Stacie Neroni and Hope Levy-Biehl opened the triathlon season today, competing in the aptly-named UCSB Spring Hazard Triathlon. Fan favorite Jennifer Levy, sister of new Team member Levy-Biehl, did not participate in the event, opting to play the important role of team manager. And the team would need her support.

"I knew it would be a bad day when I had to wait 30 minutes to use the port-a-potty," complained Neroni. Poor logistical planning on the part of the UCSB students caused most of HLB Tri's problems. The potty situation prevented the Team from completing a proper warm-up swim in the icy Santa Barbara waters. "The warm-up swim is the most important part of the race," said a concerned Pamplona before his race start. It was Pamplona who didn't warm up and thus panicked during the swim portion of last year's Long Beach Triathlon, where he resorted to doggie-paddling for a half mile.

But acclimating to the chilling water was the least of the Team's problems. Large tsunami-like waves were a challenge Levy-Biehl did not expect in her first triathlon. The Team's open-water swim training was done exclusively at the Long Beach Pier, where waves are non-existent. "I was getting battered out there" shouted Levy-Biehl as she exited the water toward the swim-bike transition area.

Neroni was the Team member who overcame the largest obstacle on the swim. HLB Tri's strongest swimmer, Neroni bolted off the beach to begin her race, giving her no other swimmers to follow. She was forced to navigate by sighting a single buoy 800 meters away from the swim start. Because of the inept planning of UCSB, she was effectively forced to swim blind. "Demons surface when you are swimming alone in cold, choppy water and you don't know where you're going," said a disturbed Neroni, re-living the hellish experience. "I'm going to need therapy!"

Despite the numerous problems on the swim, each Team member made it to the swim-bike transition. However, not all were unscathed: Pamplona suffered a serious rash from his wet-suit, forcing him to endure calls of "lobster boy" from race spectators during the bike and run portions.

The bike leg went much smoother for Neroni, Levy-Biehl and Pamplona, who picked off competitors one-by-one throughout the 16-mile course. Hardiman would not be so lucky. He flatted at mile 11. "You really find out what you're made of when you flat with five miles to go and you realize you don't know how to fix it," remarked Hardiman. After crying for several minutes, Hardiman managed to fix his damaged inner-tube using only a twig and duct-tape (a trick he remembered from watching MacGyver). The moment of genius came to an end when he realized that he didn't have a pump to inflate the repaired wheel. There was not a dry tear among the spectators has Hardiman courageously entered the bike-run transition area after having walked his bike for five miles.

Pamplona took home the Team's best time of the day, completing the .5-mile swim, 16-mile bike and 3-mile run in 1:38:18. Neroni and Levy-Biehl placed admirably in their age divisions, finishing in 1:55:35 and 2:12:40, respectively. Hardiman was not allowed to complete the race, as most everyone had gone home by the time he reached the bike-run transition. Somber after earning his first ever "DNF", Hardiman was consoled by the calming presence of Jay Hartz, who surprised the Team with an unannounced appearance at the finish line. "The team looked great," said Hartz, "but it took them so damn long to get to the finish line that I thought I showed up at the wrong race!"



The Team is All Smiles Before the Race . . . Little Would They Know!



Levy-Biehl efficiently peels off her wetsuit on the way to the transition



Focused after a difficult swim, Neroni seeks to make up lost time



The Transition Area: Ordered Chaos




Hardiman rocketed through the first 11 miles of the bike



The Team relaxes before a post-race brunch